Why Amish Marriages Last

Early in our marriage we lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana where several Amish communities were also located.

At our grocery store we had parking stalls for horses and buggies. We hired an Amish man with expert craftsmanship skills to help renovate our home. Scott saw Amish people at the hospitals he worked at. And we loved weekend getaways to their farms to buy baked goods, candles, and produce.

One time when my parents were visiting, we were even invited into one of their homes. (Only my parents could wrap people around their hearts like that!) It was warm and inviting, although a little darker than what we were used to.

No electricity. No phones. No cars. No technology. No formal education.

We knew from our observations that the Amish had strong families, communities, and faith.

But until recently, we had never deeply explored the most intimate parts of Amish families, nor had we sought to learn from them, a people who are so different from us.

For this week’s episode of Marriage iQ, we have a real treat for you! We sat down with Enos Hershberger, who was raised in one of the most conservative Amish sects, to learn more. He reveals some shocking Amish dating rituals, what they believe about marriage, what he thinks their strengths and weaknesses are in marriage relationships, and what traditions he has kept and discarded in own marriage. Especially interesting was how his perceptions of his parents’ marriage changed over time.

You don’t want to miss toward the end of the episode when Enos shares the touching story about tragedy his parents faced early in their marriage and how it impacted them.

Action Tip:

Take time as a couple to identify someone different from you… a neighbor or a friend or a stranger… and ask them what they believe about marriage.

What common ground did you discover?

What differences did you find? Can you respect each others’ differences?

Did you learn any new perspective, ritual, or belief that could make your own marriage stronger?

Please send us an email or comment on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts, telling about your experience!

We have personally discovered that we can learn so much from people who are different than we are! (That’s why we love to travel!) We believe one of the biggest strengths of Marriage iQ is that we don’t just bring people on our show who believe only the same things we believe. We invite guests on from different faiths, cultures, races, political ideologies, and more! As we keep expanding our perspective, we can see people as individuals. And we can create more peace in the world!

Listen here on Spotify or watch the full episode on YouTube.

(FYI: we can’t share the YouTube link anymore… we found it was sending our emails to junk mail… but go to YT and search for Marriage iQ if you want to see some of the pictures and videos embedded into the episode!).

If you have missed other Marriage iQ Weekly Tip emails, here is a link to catch up on them!