Trust Starts With You

What does it really mean to trust yourself?

For many—especially those in long-term marriages—self-trust doesn’t always come naturally. We've spent years tuning in to others' needs, meeting expectations, and adapting to roles. But somewhere along the way, many of us lose sight of our own inner voice.

Our guest on Marriage iQ this week, psychologist Dr. Ray Doktor, says self-trust is the foundation of self-esteem. And it’s not something you're born with—it’s something you build.

He knows this firsthand. As a child, he faced severe asthma, racism, bullying, and trauma. But what shaped his future wasn’t the pain—it was how he learned to make meaning of it. Instead of letting difficult experiences define him, he learned to integrate them. That’s where growth happens.

Action Tip:

Start by rewriting one limiting belief about yourself. Is it something you chose—or something you inherited? Replace it with a truth that’s rooted in your current values, not your old wounds.

Because the story you tell yourself? That’s the one your marriage—and your life—will follow.