Episode 73. Protecting What Matters Most (Part 1): How to Chase Dreams Without Losing Each Other
5 Strategies for Balancing Personal Goals in Marriage
How to grow as individuals without growing apart
Marriage is a beautiful paradox. On one hand, it’s about unity—two people building a life together. On the other, it’s about individuality—two people who still have their own dreams, passions, and callings.
But here’s the tension: when personal goals feel like they compete with shared priorities, marriages can drift into misunderstanding, resentment, or silent disengagement. The healthiest couples find ways to hold both—to create space for individuality while nurturing their “we.”
Recently, in our conversation with Ben and Malissa McKay, we saw this principle in action. Their journey through pageantry and real estate investing offers a window into what it looks like to chase dreams together, even when those dreams are different.
But this isn’t just their story—it’s a roadmap for any couple seeking to balance personal aspirations and shared life.
1. Start With Shared Values
Pursuing personal goals without clarity on shared values is like building two houses on different foundations—you might not notice the cracks until later.
For Ben and Malissa, growing up in large families meant they shared a deep commitment to connection, community, and resilience. That alignment allowed them to celebrate each other’s passions without fear of losing their center.
Ask yourself:
What do we value most as a couple?
How do my personal goals fit into those values—or conflict with them?
Marriage IQ Insight: Shared values don’t limit your individuality—they give it a home.
2. Celebrate, Don’t Just “Allow” Each Other’s Dreams
There’s a world of difference between tolerating your spouse’s passions and actively championing them.
Malissa’s identity in pageantry mattered deeply to her, and instead of sidelining that, Ben created a personalized book of her achievements—a gesture that said, “I see you. I honor what matters to you.”
This isn’t about grand gestures, though. Sometimes the most powerful way to show support is simply through curiosity:
“Tell me what excites you about this.”
“How can I help make this possible for you?”
“What would success look like for you?”
Marriage IQ Challenge: This week, take five minutes to ask your spouse about one of their goals—and really listen without shifting the focus back to your own.
3. Keep the Whole Family in the Frame
Every personal pursuit has ripple effects—on finances, schedules, energy, and emotional bandwidth. Healthy couples name those ripples before they become waves.
The McKays regularly ask:
How will this impact our kids?
What sacrifices are we willing to make right now?
Where does this opportunity fit within our season of life?
This doesn’t mean shelving every dream until the timing is “perfect” (spoiler: it never will be). Instead, it’s about making intentional choices so personal growth strengthens, rather than strains, your shared life.
Try this together: Schedule a monthly “dreams + priorities” check-in where you each share your current goals and evaluate how they align with your family’s capacity.
4. Adapt With Grace
Life rarely goes as planned. Just as Malissa was preparing for a major pageant, they learned they were expecting a surprise third child. Instead of abandoning her dream or charging ahead unchanged, they adjusted timelines and expectations.
This kind of flexibility is essential for thriving marriages. It requires humility, creativity, and a commitment to seeing each other as teammates rather than competitors.
Ask yourselves:
What season are we in right now?
Does this goal need to look different in this season—or is this exactly the right time to lean in?
5. Support Each Other Emotionally and Practically
Pursuing passions can be exhilarating—but also stressful and vulnerable. One of the biggest lessons from the McKays’ story is that support needs to show up in two ways:
Emotional support: Ben’s calm reassurance during Malissa’s pageant prep helped her stay grounded. Sometimes, what your spouse needs most is your belief in them when theirs falters.
Practical support: Ben also stepped in with childcare solutions so Malissa could focus fully. Tangible help speaks volumes.
Marriage IQ Tip: Think small but consistent: cook dinner, rearrange schedules, send an encouraging text, or attend an event that matters to them.
Bringing It All Together
Pursuing personal passions within marriage isn’t about living separate lives—it’s about enriching your shared journey. When couples choose to champion individuality and protect connection, they create space for both partners to thrive.
Here’s your next step:
Marriage IQ Action Tip
Set aside 15 minutes this week to talk about one personal goal each of you has.What excites you most about it?
What kind of support would feel meaningful?
How does this goal align with our shared values right now?
The strongest marriages are living, breathing ecosystems—capable of evolving as each partner grows. Supporting each other’s dreams doesn’t divide your energy; it multiplies it.
Because when your “I” and your “we” are both nourished, your marriage doesn’t just survive—it becomes a powerful force for growth, joy, and meaning.
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0:02
Welcome to Marriage IQ, the podcast for the Intelligence Spouse.
I'm Doctor Heidi Hastings.
And I'm Doctor Scott Hastings.
We are two doctors, 2 researchers, 2 spouses, 2 lovers, and two incredibly different human beings coming together for one purpose, to transform the stinky parts of your marriage into scintillating ones using intelligence mixed with a little.
0:31
Fun.
Hey, everyone, welcome back.
We're so glad to have you with us again this week.
We hope you've had a great week.
Now we just want to take a moment here to say, is it OK, Heidi, to say that we love our audience?
0:48
Well, we've had that discussion and some might find it a little corny.
I don't know, is that too deep?
But I think to just throw more love out in the world and let people know that they're supportive.
I just want to take this opportunity to, to tell each of you listening and watching us that we love you from the Hastings.
1:06
And I hope, we hope that you feel that from us.
Yeah, we're working on spreading love.
We will.
We come back week after week.
We love doing this.
We love sharing these things, and we also love sharing stories of other people who've touched our lives and who are instrumental in really making marriage scintillate again.
1:27
Yeah, and while we're Speaking of that, if any of you are listeners out there, know of friends or family or other associates who have really interesting marriage stories, we'd love to put those on every once in a while.
We've got a great 1 today, but we invite you to reach out to us at hello@marriageiq.com and share those connections with us so we can just keep really interesting stories going.
1:55
And don't forget to tell your friends, family, strangers, Co workers about the fascinating new podcast called Marriage IQ so they can listen as well.
We have some great people today.
You're great at that.
I'm great.
How did you want to introduce our guests today?
2:14
I'm really excited about a young couple that we have on with us today.
They're friends of ours and have a very interesting story to tell.
So Ben and Melissa McKay have been married for six years and they have 3 little kiddos.
2:30
Ben is a real estate attorney down in the Dallas area.
Melissa, who has a master's in public administration, uses that degree to do a lot of work within the community.
And most recently, Melissa was crowned Missus Texas American.
2:50
We're super proud of her and of them, and we're going to talk to them about their journey through that today.
So.
So Ben and Ben and Missy, yeah, welcome on.
Thank you.
Tell us a little bit about how you two met and Fast forward up to this whole process of becoming Missus Texas.
3:14
Because identity is important to us, and Missus Texas is a new identity for you, but it doesn't come without building upon other parts of our identity, which is one of our 4 cornerstones.
Yes, All right, so Ben and I actually met 10 years ago.
3:29
So this is meant a relationship 10 years in the making and I actually competed in my most recent pageant.
It was 10 years ago.
And so Ben had never seen me compete in a pageant before.
All he ever knew was that I had before and it actually was a huge part of who I am today and who I was then.
3:48
And it's how I paid for part of college was through scholarships and learning, great work ethic and serving in the community.
And so I loved all of those parts of pageantry, developing my talents and and serving.
And so Ben came right after that part of my life.
4:07
I kind of come to a close.
And so we met in college and we had our first day was actually in Washington, DC and I, we had met in Utah where we went to school and I was out there for an internship in Washington, DC and he came out for a law school visit and we decided we would meet for our first date in the middle.
4:27
So I had no money, but I rented a car and drove 2 hours to see him.
And he drove up from Southern Virginia and drove 2 hours to see me.
And we met in the middle at Outback Steakhouse.
I had a gift card to Outback Steakhouse that was pretty much the only money we had was a gift card to Outback Steakhouse.
4:45
Gift card to Outback, all right.
And do you go there often?
We did.
For one of our anniversaries, we did go to Outback Steakhouse.
Good old memories, nostalgia.
So between that date and then we just kind of went our separate ways and went through grad school and reconnected at the last year of both of our graduate programs.
5:08
And within a year we were married.
So it was kind of four years from meeting to getting married and wow.
And here we are, 10 years later.
Dang, So Ben, you didn't know anything about what it was like to go through this whole pageant process, right?
5:26
Because when you guys met, right, she'd already kind of closed that chapter and.
Yeah, when we first met, I mean, we kind of social media stalked each other a little bit.
And I remember seeing pictures of her.
You know, she had won a local pageant where we were going to school.
5:44
And I remember seeing pictures of her.
And I was like, wow, this is this is really cool.
And it was cool meeting her.
I feel like one of the things that actually initially attracted me to her was just I felt like she wanted to make a difference in the world, right?
6:00
And if she had something to say.
And when we first met, she looked me in the eye and we talked about, we talked about families.
You know, she was studying family life for human development.
Emphasis in human development, yes.
And there were just a lot of things that initially I was like, wow, this is really cool.
6:19
And I mean, who doesn't want to marry royalty, right?
That's great.
What did you love about Ben?
So the first time I talked with Ben, he had actually, we both had memorized a similar document talking about the importance of families.
6:34
And so that's, that was actually what initially I thought he was physically attractive, but then knowing what was in his heart and his desires to have a family, that was so important to me too.
And so it was that those values for family that brought us together and my education and family life and desire to be a mother and, and to raise a family was important to both of us.
6:52
And so that was what brought us together initially.
So you intentionally wanted to become a mother?
Yes, Right.
Yes.
You planned for it.
You thought about it.
You.
And now?
And you were successful in in.
7:09
I mean, education kind of though, doesn't that kind of get in the way of career?
That is something that I, well, that's my message to women is that you can be driven and, and you don't necessarily have to have a career in order to be successful.
And so my background is a nonprofit management, family life and public administration and so being involved in the community government.
7:31
And so my message to women is that you can use your education to be involved in the community and to contribute without receiving a paycheck or you can have hobbies that you do get paid for.
I mean, there's so many ways for you to contribute to your community and help bring light to the world while also raising family.
And so for me, what that looks like right now is I am prioritizing my family and raising my children.
7:50
We have a four year old, a 2 year old and an 8 month old.
And so we're really busy and we have a lot going on.
So this is a really unique stage of life for me where this is my focus.
And at the same time, Ben is so wonderful to help take on a lot of that so that I can also be involved in the community through pageantry, through being involved in different municipal organizations.
8:11
And so being able to know what each other's goals are.
And especially I think in our situation, taking on some of that family load that I'm primarily responsible for to help me continue to develop my interests and use my talents has been something I'm really grateful to Ben for that we can do that together.
8:31
And the only real way that I have been able to do that is because of Ben.
So there's a lot here.
There's a lot.
It sounds to me, Missy, that you, you started out at a young age that I think this, well, I don't know how unusual this is.
8:46
It sounds unusual to me.
Being very clear, first of all, clarity in your future, clarity of what you want, confidence in wanting to see it happen and being intentional about seeing that happen.
9:03
And I guess that's a message for women everywhere that look, if you are very intentional and that's one of our 4 cornerstones with your life, you can do a lot what you've done, right?
You're a mom, you're full time of little kids, no less.
9:22
It's been a long time since we've dealt with eight months and two year olds but and then you're doing all this other stuff.
And that begs the question for me, did this come inherently for you or were there messages that you received through your parents or other influential people in your life that helped you be so focused to know what you wanted?
9:45
Well, Ben and I both grew up in families that were larger, so my mom was one of 12.
So I have 60 cousins on just one side of the family and my dad's 1 is so yeah, we have, I have many cousins.
And so I grew up seeing large families and I grew up as one of six children and Ben grew up as one of five.
10:02
And so we grew up seeing our parents raise many children.
And so for us that seems very natural.
And so not everyone grows up seeing that.
And, and so for us, it just, that's what felt normal.
And so it didn't seem so abstract to for me to grow up and to have a large family or to be primarily in charge of my children.
10:19
That seems very natural for me.
And and that I feel like pairs very well with community service and being involved because I can bring my kids along.
And I think it's really important for parents to involve their children in that kind of thing because you're raising public servants and kids who can contribute and see service as a part of daily life.
10:37
And it's not something we do after everything else.
We do it just as a part of what we're doing.
We are raising public servants, my love.
I don't, I don't think I've ever heard, heard thought of this before.
But that's an interesting thought.
And then you also mentioned that you couldn't have done this without Ben's help.
10:56
And that's where things can kind of get complicated, right?
Two different people, two different life experiences coming together.
But for you, it sounds like you worked early to support each other, right, During this whole process of this pageant.
11:17
Yeah, I'd love.
To hear what those early conversations.
Yeah, what was the timeline of this thing anyway?
So from early on, Ben knew this was a part of my development as a young adult and into who I am today.
And he always showed me that that was important to him too.
11:33
So I, I have a book for your listeners who are just listening.
I'm holding up a book that Ben made me for Christmas and it has a picture of a crown on the front and it's all of my photos of different pageants I was involved in.
He made this for me for Christmas and I was just bawling as I looked through this book because Ben had gone to different directors of mine and he had gone through all my social media and he contacted different people to just make a book.
12:02
I don't know how many pages this is.
And you didn't know about any of this?
I did not know about this.
This was a Christmas gift.
So I opened it up and I was just crying because this just showed me that he saw this is something that was an important part of who I am.
And, and not that we had plans to do another pageant, but just that this is something that was in my heart and and very important as a part of my past and my experiences and my identity.
12:26
And and not that I am dependent on that as feeling worthy or of importance, but just that that it's, you know, the building blocks of who I am today.
So I'm just so grateful for Ben from early on, seeing that as important in who I am and showing that to me.
12:43
And so when I started talking about doing another pageant, I felt like, and then he can speak to this, but I just felt 100% encouragement.
And, and I had not planned on doing 1 so soon, but we had a baby that was a year surprise baby.
12:59
Our our eight-month old was a surprise.
And so he came a year early than we had planned.
And so I just thought, you know what, maybe this is my year to just try the pageant and do the thing and just, and just try.
So then what do you feel like?
What do you feel like your thoughts were as we started having these conversations?
13:18
Well, as a husband, there's really no downside to your wife doing a pageant.
She gets dressed up in beautiful dresses, takes great pictures, starts going to the gym a little bit more, get in good shape, writes down her life goals.
13:35
I mean, there's really no downside to this.
Maybe, you know, the credit card racks up a couple more expenses, but no, I mean, it's, it's been really cool actually.
So, you know, as Missy mentioned, she did multiple pageants throughout college.
13:54
But the last pageant she did, she went all the way to the state level, the final state level for Miss America.
And she didn't win.
And it was really a really big trial in her life.
And that's actually like right before I met her.
14:10
And so in our first couple years of marriage, she would talk about just kind of what a trial that was because she had expectations to take this platform to the national level and she was only able to kind of take it to the local level because of the result of the pageant.
14:27
And so I could see that it was something, it was almost like there was almost this like unresolved, I don't know, just unresolved desire that she had to kind of further this 'cause that she was involved in, which is maybe we can talk about it a little bit more later, but is educating young people on the harms of pornography.
14:51
And so when she started kind of toying with the idea of doing the Missus pageant here in Texas, I just thought, well, this is this is a great opportunity because she felt like, and I'm, you know, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
15:08
I don't want to put words in Missy's mouth, but it felt like she didn't have closure on that last competition she'd done.
And so I feel like we both saw this as this opportunity to overcome any like lingering doubts and fears that she had about pageants and also an opportunity to take this cause to a higher level and be able to serve the people of Texas so.
15:34
Awesome, so I would never do a pageant.
They're not for everyone.
That's OK.
They're not, but I think your message can be translated into almost anything.
What advice, Ben, would you give husbands about really learning to help their wives shine in whatever their thing is that they're really good at or passionate about?
15:57
Because maybe women often are so wrapped up in the things of life, whether it's work or motherhood or or whatever it is.
Other people.
Yeah, really other people that they're not even recognizing what where they shine.
16:17
What advice would you give husbands because it sounds like you'd you'd were hitting it right on.
Maybe while he's thinking, I'll give him a minute.
But I I noticed this.
I want to go back to another one of our four cornerstones, which is identity.
In fact, that's our first cornerstone of a scintillating marriage.
16:36
And the one thing is, so Missy knew this is who she was wanted to be.
This is part of her identity.
And Ben was sensitive enough to pick up on that and make that now important to him.
16:54
You see, instead of something, correct me if I'm wrong here, but this is what I'm sensing, that you sensed that this was really important, so you now made it important to you, not just something you did because your wife wanted you to, because now you wanted to.
17:13
And that makes all the difference.
I can do something for my wife because she wants to and nag about it, or I can do it because I want to do it.
And that changes everything.
That's what do you think?
17:30
That's beautifully put.
You're probably giving me a lot more credit than that.
Is there?
We were talking this morning about how I do feel like from the very beginning of our marriage, and I don't even know if it's something we consciously did.
It's probably just because Missy's such a good person.
But it seems like our, like you said, Scott, our dreams have, it's not like Missy has her dreams and I have my dreams.
17:54
It's, you know, the scriptures say become one flesh, right?
And so, you know, I've always had this dream of building this real estate empire.
And so for the first couple years of marriage, we were buying duplexes and fixing them up.
And it wasn't like Missy was saying then you go to your thing, I don't want to hear about it.
18:14
I'm just going to, you know, go on a girls trip or take care of the kids or whatever.
She was in the duplex.
I mean, she probably did honestly more work than I did on the duplex because I was still working a full time job.
And so she would put the kids down for a nap and run over and paint walls and muck out old bathrooms and things.
18:32
And, and so I just felt so blessed that she was participating in kind of the dreams that I've always had and, and making it her dream.
And so I've tried to do the same with her.
I guess, like you said, Scott, to to come together and to support her and to be a part of the pageant experience.
18:56
And especially as Missus Texas, I mean, you actually have to be married to compete in the pageant.
It takes both.
Of us.
You've got to have a spouse and, and so I try to send out emails and get speaking opportunities for her and brainstorm ideas of how we can further this platform for her.
19:12
And, and she does the same for, you know, all of the things that that I've been interested in.
And so we're just lucky, but we're still learning.
And I would say too that it's not without consideration.
We don't just go in saying I want this and you support me and I want this and you support me.
19:30
It's how will this affect our family?
So if we're going to acquire another property, how is this going to affect our family?
What kind of time will that take away from our family this summer?
Because last summer we did acquire property and it took a lot of time away from our family last summer.
And we, we realized that was a learning experience.
19:46
We call it our fix and flop.
It just it actually didn't go very well, but it but the important part of that was that that we had decided together that we were OK if this was a flop and that we would go into it knowing that.
And so when it did flop, there was no one to blame.
20:01
It was just us.
We had already decided that together.
And so going into the pageant, we had decided together.
Is this going to be something that's positive for our family?
And so we had to have that discussion, or at least a series of discussions about that and thinking through that.
And I would say, so I applied for the local title, which was Missus Prosper.
20:19
And, and so I received that title and between that it was last September 2024 and then the.
The pageant was May 2025 S in September 2024.
I was seven months pregnant and I had braces.
And so I felt like I needed a lot of emotional support for my husband because I felt very I did not feel ready to compete for a pageant, if you can imagine.
20:42
And so something that I'm really grateful for Ben for is that along the way, he was so emotionally supportive of me because there were many tears and because and there were times when he would help me become grounded again and say, it's really not that important.
It really isn't.
20:58
It's OK.
And if this is actually going to be a net negative for our family, this isn't actually something that we want.
And so if you're so overwhelmed, we really don't have to do this.
So just kind of take the temperature along the way and, and trying to figure out, is this benefiting our family or is this not?
21:14
And so and same with real estate on his end, is this benefiting our family or is it not?
And how can we learn from this experience and do better in the future?
And so I just really appreciate Ben and his perspective along the way and in helping us and us coming together in understanding what's best for our family and not because now we're a married couple.
21:32
It can't just be what's best for me or what's best for you.
It has to be not even us for a couple.
We have to consider our children.
And so there's a lot of people to take into account when we're making our decisions.
And so I just wanted to make sure I point that out because that's been a big part of of the decisions that we've made is our entire family.
21:50
I love two things about that.
First is your guiding force is, is this good for the family?
What a great question.
Is this good for the marriage, which is, you know, part of the family?
But also, I love that you're realistic when making these decisions together about what if this doesn't work?
22:10
What if this fails?
We still want to try because I think sometimes we go into things thinking, just seeing the bright future.
And then when it doesn't, you're right, there are a lot of hard feelings or hurt or perhaps anger at each other or whatever it is.
22:31
And so having those conversations ahead of time protects your relationship.
That sounds a whole lot like Insight.
Were you guys just born with emotional intelligence here?
I'm.
Getting We're just telling you the good stuff.
I am a little jealous.
22:49
It's taken me decades to get to this point, and here you are, these upstarts who appear to be born with emotional intelligence.
Three of our four cornerstones right there.
But to your point, Missy, even if you are emotionally intelligent, there are times that you're not right.
23:06
We have times that we're hungry, tired.
That's a good point.
Stressed, whatever it is, and even though we know what to do, our emotions overtake the stress overtakes us and we're not on our best behavior.
Yeah, all the time, so.
23:22
Yeah, I would say Ben has been very patient through the process of this pageant because there are lots of highs and there are lots of lows with me figuring all of this out with children.
And it's something that I appreciate that he did was that it's, I think sometimes hard, or at least for myself and I think for other wives, is that it's hard to know what you need.
23:41
And so I needed help with my home and my kids because I was taking on a lot more outside of our home.
And so Ben has a full time job.
There's only so much that he can take on during the day.
And so he did some groundwork to help find someone to come in the afternoons to help me with the kids so that I could have some free time to get things done.
24:00
That was something that Ben really helped me do and I, I couldn't see through that, that I really did need some help.
And that's something that he could help me do when I'm taking care of everything else.
He was helping to take care of me by helping, by finding some more help where he couldn't come in and do the lifting.
24:16
He found someone to do that.
And so that was something I was really grateful for.
You know that that's a good point here.
I, I think it's important to stop and just pause when you're in the thick of it, when you're maybe in this limbic storm of reactivity.
24:34
And everyone goes through this.
Sometimes we don't know what we need.
And I've seen this over and over.
What do you need?
How can I help you?
I don't know.
And so if you don't know, people can't help you, right?
24:50
And, and it just perpetuates this problem, especially in marriage.
And what you did is whether you yourself were able to calm yourself down and intentionally think about what you needed and have the language to ask for it.
25:07
You also probably had a husband to help you kind of pull it out of you a little bit easier because sometimes we just can't get it out of ourselves without another objective observer, another perspective, our spouse that may be able to help pull out the things that we do need.
25:26
Maybe giving a menu of?
Options, a menu of options.
That's a great point.
And so the person who was in that turmoil can start maybe pulling out of it by looking at some of these suggestions that their spouse says.
25:42
And then they learn that language to say, OK, I need this.
Boom, now we can start moving.
This is this is a great point too, to bring up our episode 65 on three communication tools.
We have a communication tool in there called Thanos, where every night or every day, whenever you decide, you talk about feelings, appreciation for each other, what you need, owning what you did wrong that day or something you could have done better, and then what your successes are.
26:13
And just being able to practice on a daily basis, identify what it is you need makes a big difference.
So yeah, I love that that you were able to do that for.
Her so in real time they did this sort of and he was able to help her out and they're able to pull through together on this.
26:33
It was very inspiring.
Well, I, I love that we'll have to go back and listen to that episode you mentioned, Heidi, because, you know, as Scott mentioned, we're, we're not veterans.
We're just kind of getting going.
And so I feel like we're just kind of starting to understand patterns in one another and then how to step in and help when we start to, you know, like Missy said the other day, she's like whenever Ben, she's like Ben is always humming and singing.
27:00
And so I know whenever he's not humming or singing, something's wrong.
Like if he's not humming or singing in the shower, right?
Or if he is, I know things are right.
Ben's a happy guy, so he and and he expresses that to your music.
And so if Ben is making noises of some kind or another, I know he's happy.
27:17
That's insight.
Yes.
And that's a pattern.
And so if Ben is kind of quiet, I, you know, should I be worried or should I be thinking through what does Ben need right now?
So.
And for Missy, right, like I feel like, you know, this event where we brought in just some help for a couple hours a day, I feel like it's just something that we're just starting to recognize in one another.
27:41
OK, misses, I can tell.
So that she's a little more stressed than usual.
And we're just starting to kind of recognize those patterns.
And then we're getting better at stepping in and helping fill in those needs when the other doesn't know what they need.
27:58
But but we're still learning.
What's the saying?
Like you have to get a PhD in your spouse eventually.
And we're probably at like the master or maybe undergrad level.
We're undergrads.
We're undergrads, probably.
Yeah, actually, that's right.
Maybe high school.
28:14
And then we're working our way.
Missy, having studied human development, knows well which, that's my background as well, that this is a process and it goes a step at a time.
A step at a time.
And as we have all these experiences, we learn and we grow and our eyes are open if we're willing to see new perspectives.
28:37
And this is normal.
And it's.
Not normal to to have a perfect marriage.
It's what's normal.
Is the growth and I love that.
It's lifelong, too, right?
As soon as you think you've gotten there, that's the first sign, the first clue that you're you're, you're not, you're not anywhere where you think you need to be.
28:59
When we think we've made it, that's a clear cut sign that we haven't made it because it's lifelong.
I'm reminded of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey, and I think the last habit is sharpening the saw.
29:16
Well, that saw always can be sharper.
So whatever we're doing, whatever you're doing, whatever you learn, whatever patterns you're learning in your life, education you're receiving, you're putting it all together and you're continuing forward, forward, forward in a lifetime, right?
29:34
Hey.
Everybody.
That's the end of Part 1 of this awesome interview with the Mckay's.
We hope that you'll come back on Friday and join us with Part 2 of their interview.
And we hope you have a great week.
We'll see you on Friday for another exciting episode of Marriage IQ.
