What We Inherit

Yesterday I met with someone who knew my mother in the 1960s. I remember meeting Rozzi when I was a little girl, but decades have passed.

My mother has since passed away.

Longing to know more about who Mom was as a young woman, my sister and I asked Rozzi lots of questions.

Then she said something that surprised me.

"You look just like your mother."

I was shocked!

Mom was a classy little lady who weighed about 95 pounds. I've never thought I looked much like her.

I laughed and said, "Well, I definitely inherited my dad's temperament!"

That conversation got me thinking...

When we talk about inheritance, we usually think about eye color, personality traits, or even family recipes.

But there's something else we often inherit without realizing it—our relationship patterns.

How was conflict handled in your home growing up? Was affection shown freely, or was it rarely expressed? Were difficult conversations welcomed or avoided?

Whether we realize it or not, those early experiences become our "normal." We often carry them into marriage without ever questioning where they came from.

The encouraging news is this: awareness creates choice. Once you recognize a pattern, you no longer have to repeat it.

In this week's Marriage IQ Podcast, relationship expert Larry Bilotta shares why many of the patterns that shape our marriages begin long before we ever say, "I do," and how changing ourselves can change the direction of our relationships.

Action Tip:

The next time you find yourself reacting strongly in a conversation with your spouse, pause and ask yourself:
"Is this reaction coming from what's happening right now... or from something I learned a long time ago?"

That one question can shift a conversation from blame to curiosity. And curiosity is where growth begins.

🎧 Listen to this week's episode: Your Marriage Started Before Your Wedding Day.

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