The Desire Shift

I hear the same story over and over again.

“I’m the low-desire partner in my marriage,” she says.

“I used to really enjoy intimacy with my husband, but after kids came, my desire disappeared,” another explains.

“I don't even think about it anymore,” others confess.

Before marriage, they felt intense desire. So what changes? Why does intimacy suddenly feel so much harder?

That was my story too.

And no one talked about it. At least none of my sisters or friends did. So I felt completely alone.

I thought something was wrong with me.

I felt broken.

I carried so much shame.

It wasn't that I didn't enjoy intimacy once we were together...

I just rarely thought to initiate it.

Over time, it became a source of conflict in our marriage.

My husband wanted to feel wanted.

What I didn't know then is that women often experience desire differently than men—and those differences aren't a flaw. They're actually an opportunity for growth.

Learning that changed the way I saw myself—and my marriage.

This week on Marriage iQ, we're replaying a conversation we had on our friend Dan Purcell's podcast, Get Your Marriage On.

We share our story honestly and vulnerably, along with what changed everything for us.

If you've ever wondered, "What's wrong with me?" I hope this conversation helps you discover that you may not be broken after all.

👉 Here's the link.

(And one small favor... don't judge our first home studio setup too harshly. It was our very first recording, and I definitely had the camera settings wrong!)

Action Tip:

If intimacy has been a source of frustration, have an honest conversation with your spouse. Instead of focusing on what's "wrong," ask each other, "What could we learn together?" Growth begins when couples become teammates instead of critics.

If you have missed other Marriage iQ Weekly Tip emails, here is a link to catch up on them!