Unpause Your Marriage

When Scott was in medical school, he worked 120 hours a week. I saw him every third day—and most of the time, he was sleeping.

When he wasn’t sleeping, he was renovating our 1930s home… stripping wallpaper, painting, and pulling up layers of old flooring.

Meanwhile, I was home with four small children, living in a completely different world. A Mom World that rarely overlapped with his—except for the occasional date night… when we could squeeze one in.

For four years, our relationship was essentially on pause.

Fast forward a couple of decades.

When it was my turn to go to grad school, we did things differently. We were much more intentional about keeping our marriage the priority. Yes, there were seasons when school demanded more—deadlines, exams, long days—but we stayed connected in the small ways that kept us out of the “pause” zone.

We had a shared vision for our future, and we knew it would require sacrifice.

But here’s what we’ve learned:

👉 Putting a relationship on pause is risky.

Because reconnecting isn’t always easy—especially if you don’t even realize the pause is happening… or you don’t know how to turn things back on.

This week on Marriage iQ, we’re joined by Dr. Lee Baucom, marriage and family therapist and “thriveologist,” to talk about how couples drift into this pause—and how to reconnect in a way that actually lasts.

Action Tip:

Tonight, notice the difference between reporting and revealing.
Instead of reporting that, “I had meetings all day,” try revealing, “I felt overwhelmed today, and I missed you.”

Does it feel like a very different kind of connection?

Most couples don’t even realize their relationship is on “pause” until the disconnection is already deep. This episode will help you recognize it early and show you how to turn things back on.

Listen now! 

Listen here on Spotify or watch the full episode on YouTube.

(FYI: we can’t share the YouTube link anymore… we found it was sending our emails to junk mail… but go to YT and search for Marriage iQ if you want to see some of the pictures and videos embedded into the episode!).

If you have missed other Marriage iQ Weekly Tip emails, here is a linkto catch up on them!