Distorted Love Lens

Your brain doesn’t always show you the truth—it shows you what it expects to see. In marriage, that can mean misinterpreting your partner’s intentions, assuming the worst, or filtering everything through past hurt or long-held beliefs. These aren’t just bad habits—they’re mental shortcuts called biases, and they silently shape your reactions.

Maybe you assume your spouse is ignoring you on purpose (attribution bias), or you only notice the times they fall short (confirmation bias). You might even feel like you're always the one who gives more (self-serving bias). These patterns create disconnection—even when love is still there.

Next time you feel misunderstood or frustrated, pause and ask: “What bias might be coloring how I’m seeing this?” Naming the lens you're looking through can change the whole view. Instead of reacting, try saying: “I think I might be assuming the worst here—can we check in?”

Actionable Tip: Reflect on a recent moment of tension. Was your reaction based on your partner’s actual behavior—or a story your mind created? Talk about it together. Awareness is the first step to rewriting those mental scripts—and building a smarter, stronger connection.