Episode 58. Shift Happens: Balancing ‘Me’ and ‘We’ Through Life’s Transitions
Navigating Identity Shifts in Marriage
Life doesn’t stand still—and neither do we. As individuals, we grow, adapt, and sometimes completely redefine who we are. But when you’re in a long-term relationship, every personal shift echoes through your marriage. Whether it’s becoming a parent, switching careers, relocating, or grieving a loss, these transitions shape not only your individual identity but also your shared identity as a couple.
So how do you stay connected to your partner while also staying true to yourself? That’s the heart of the “me” and “we” balance—and it’s one of the most important keys to building a resilient, fulfilling relationship.
Marriage: The First Identity Shift
Marriage itself marks a major transition. Suddenly, you’re not just “me”—you’re part of a “we.” This shift requires realignment of priorities, roles, and even how you define success and purpose. But the initial merging is just the beginning. As life unfolds, we’re continuously reshaped by new experiences.
These common transitions often trigger identity shifts:
Becoming parents
Career pivots or job loss
Empty nesting
Midlife reassessment
Moving to a new environment
Grieving the loss of a loved one
Each event invites—or demands—an internal reckoning: Who am I now? And who are we together?
The Challenge: Staying Whole While Staying Connected
One of the greatest challenges in marriage is maintaining a strong sense of self while staying emotionally available to your spouse. In psychology, this concept is known as differentiation of self—the ability to be connected without being consumed, to remain grounded in your values while remaining open to your partner’s influence.
Strong differentiation helps couples:
Navigate change without fear of abandonment
Stay emotionally engaged during times of stress
Cultivate deeper intimacy rooted in authenticity
In contrast, couples who blur their individual identities often struggle with resentment, stagnation, or emotional disconnection.
How to Navigate Identity Shifts Together
You don’t have to navigate these transitions alone—or in silence. Here are practical ways to support both individual growth and shared connection:
Talk About the Changes
Name what’s shifting for you. Ask your spouse: “Have you noticed a change in how I show up lately?” Communicating about internal changes reduces confusion and builds empathy.Give Each Other Room to Grow
Support your partner’s need to try new things, explore ideas, or rest. Respect their growth without needing to control or “fix” it.Redefine Shared Goals Regularly
Sit down a few times a year and ask: “What matters most to us now?” Aligning your evolving identities keeps your marriage future-focused and adaptive.Practice Patience
Identity changes aren’t always neat or quick. Give yourself and each other time to figure things out.Get Support
Some transitions are too big to handle solo. Consider working with a couples’ therapist or coach to process change with clarity and intention.
Vulnerability Is the Bridge
Growth requires vulnerability. Talking honestly about confusion, fear, or a sense of loss can feel risky—but it’s the glue that holds couples together through seasons of change. When you invite your partner into your internal world, even before you have it all figured out, you make space for mutual discovery and deeper love.
One married participant in a study on long-term relationships put it beautifully:
“Being married is molding the person that I am and who I'm becoming. It's helping me fulfill dreams and ambitions and goals. It's giving me deeper love, a sense of achievement and a sense of encouragement.”
— Soulsby & Bennett, 2015
Growth Isn’t the Enemy—It’s the Invitation
Identity shifts aren’t a threat to your marriage; they’re an invitation to evolve—together. When you view change as a normal, even essential, part of a long-term relationship, you stop resisting it and start using it to build something stronger.
Reflection questions for you and your partner:
What identity shifts have we gone through, together and individually?
How did those moments affect our connection?
What can we do now to support who we’re becoming?
By embracing change with curiosity, compassion, and intentional communication, you create space for a marriage that’s both rooted and dynamic. And that’s the kind of relationship that doesn’t just last—it thrives.
-
[00:00:02 - 00:00:07]
Welcome to Marriage iQ, the podcast for the intelligent spouse.[00:00:08 - 00:00:10]
I'm Dr. Heidi Hastings.[00:00:10 - 00:00:12]
And I'm Dr. Scott Hastings.[00:00:13 - 00:00:31]
We are two doctors, two researchers, two spouses, two lovers, and two incredibly different human beings coming together for one purpose. To transform the stinky parts of your marriage into scintillating ones. Using intelligence mixed with a little fun.[00:00:34 - 00:01:20]
Hello, everyone. Welcome back. We've had an exciting episode last time with the Louders and for those who haven't listened to that one, this is part two. So you might want to go listen to part one first. Last week where they introduced themselves, she was served a five year prison sentence in federal prison. And just some of the things that she learned from that and also her husband learned while he was waiting for her. So this is part two. We're excited to share that with you and we're gonna just jump right in here. I love this story, by the way. This is way more compelling because I heard a few things on Instagram and trying to get to know you a little bit, but this is so good. Anyway.[00:01:20 - 00:02:54]
All right, well, so what was surprising to me was the humanity of people in prison. Because before I went to prison I thought only bad people go to prison. Then I get into prison and I'm thinking I'm in prison and I'm not bad. I have some qualities, I've made some mistakes. Now here's where I'm grateful for my parents non traditional upbringing. My parents really didn't follow the crowd and they didn't have to follow the crowd. And so I was able to kind of walk alone. I remember telling the British roses and I said, like the world, we have to succeed. Nobody wants us to succeed. What are you talking about? You know, and I think that I believe. And it was, it was, it was decision that I made. It wasn't. And that kind of guided me. I felt accountable to the fact that I was going to improve my life. And so I meet these women. It's unbelievable. I remember I worked in the re entry department and I had this girl, she was, she was a funny girl and she would come down and talk to me every day and she was nervous about going home. So one day she says, louder are leaving in, you know, in a mom. And I said, man, I miss you. You guys ready to go home? I said, are you going to be going home to your folks? And she goes, oh, no, no. She said, no, my dad can't take care of himself. My mom died a long time ago. I said, oh, I'm sorry, you know, did she die while you were in prison? And she said, no, no. She said, my mom was a drug addict. She lived on the street, and she even started to pimp me out when I was 11 years old. And then I went into foster care.[00:02:55 - 00:02:55]
Wow.[00:02:56 - 00:04:22]
She said she never got up together. So she didn't ever, ever custody of me. She went to prison. And then she said she ended up dying. And I was there with her the day that she died. And she said, I remember looking at my mom and she was so broken. And I just said, mom, mom, you don't have to suffer anymore. Forgive yourself and let go. And I'm crying. I'm sitting there crying because I can't even imagine somebody going through that. She looks at me and she goes, it's okay, honey. I have a beautiful life. Don't feel sorry for me. She goes, I got my GED in prison. Everything's okay. And I'm like blown away. I was in such a position I like, which I thought had been kind of hard. Hard nothing in comparison to what women experience. It completely changed me. I started finding this purpose in my life. Just doesn't understand. If they could see what I see, they would understand differently and they would want to welcome people home. They would understand the strength that they have to even survive what they've been through. And so purpose started to form. I had no idea what future would look like before I learned. I mean, I. I was a photographer. I knew I was in real estate. I worked so hard. As hard as taught us, coming back and working as hard as I had had seemed, that appealed to me, you know, and I was nervous about it, but I just kept focusing on doing the next right thing. Where I was in prison, I wrote classes and taught classes to women in prison. I supported women where.[00:04:22 - 00:04:25]
What kind of classes did you write and teach?[00:04:26 - 00:04:47]
I wrote a class about teaching girls to write a mission statement. We talked about the hero's journey and basically reframing and how to focus on their thoughts. And we talked about triggers and cutting boundaries, assertive communication. I wrote one on one. That was my first prison. And they let me. That was like with basics.[00:04:47 - 00:04:50]
And then did the prisoners have access to cameras?[00:04:50 - 00:07:35]
Well, I was really lucky because my boss, my boss at the prison I was at, take it and use it. They didn't have access to cameras. Cameras, but it was more the fundamental. But then I teach them the fundamentals. I take pictures and putting them up on a screen. So that was really cool. They didn't do that. The sex prison I went to. The interesting thing is Photography is about beauty, external beauty. And probably about halfway through my sentence was the perfect time for me to start focusing more on internal things. And so I wasn't really as focused on taking pictures on this soul work that we've been doing. And so that's when I wrote what's cool about it was usually in prison you're required to go take classes. Mice wasn't required. They could just. I bet. So I found a whole new purpose. And I didn't know what I was doing when I came from prison. And I knew that's right where I was, the work I needed to doing as I worked on my own integrity. And then, and then with these girls and I just love them. I just love them so much. Like, like, honestly, by the end of my sentence, a couple of things were really, really profound. One, one, I really like like myself, remember looking in the mirror and saying, I've never felt better about myself, you know, and that was really special because there have been so many years that I hadn't. I left prison feeling very, very, very full. And I had been transferred back to California and I was at a camp. I was actually doing time with Macy, who's the girl I met from Utah, who told me that I was at war with myself. And the day that they called my name over the loudspeaker, you wait for that and you are. You wait for that. And I'd waited a long time. And Macy came up and gave me a hug and she said, congratulations on becoming an amazing person. Which was really cool because I had taught this class about becoming an amazing person. And gives me a hug and she starts to cry, and I start to cry. And then I walked out of that prison and I had this thought, everything important. And I realized I'm just woman on the planet. Like, I've never felt richer. I have these letters, I have had these experiences. And when I walked out of the prison, all the women came running out of room. They're like, we love you. We're showing love. And I feel like I never felt so full, you know. And then this amazing, cute cowboy guy's waiting for me outside. So excited and nervous, but really excited. Chad is so grounding for me. And I was really scared. Like after five, five years, you know, just held my hand and hand handed me strawberries. Strawberries. I love strawberries. And then.[00:07:35 - 00:07:49]
Can I go back for just a minute and then we'll continue on from there. Chad, during this. It ended up being five years, right? About. Yeah. Tell us about your experience during that time.[00:07:49 - 00:07:51]
Oh, oh, wow.[00:07:51 - 00:08:19]
What an experience. We had so much support from our community, neighbors, family, and just at every turn, it was awesome. Focused on being involved with the kids, Coached every soccer team, baseball team, you know, try as I could. And just, man. Day to day, about four years, five years.[00:08:20 - 00:08:25]
But how often were you able to communicate with each other and in what ways?[00:08:26 - 00:08:27]
We were able to.[00:08:27 - 00:09:44]
They led to email back and forth. Here's the thing, though. Like, I feel like I got so excited to get your emails, or we only talked on the phone four days a week for 15 minutes. But every time, it was, like, amazing. Like, I just felt so much love for you. Really connected to him, even though we were so far apart. And I remember this woman who came into prison and her husband. She reached out to you because she was coming to Minnesota. She'd read my blog. I was blogging from prison. And she goes, I know your wife says this prison. She was coming in on a tax charge, and she was. I just. I just. I'm hoping I can connect her. Well, of course. Chad lets me know when she came. We were ready for. You know, helped her out. But I was eating breakfast with her one morning, and she looked so much. And I said, his love for me is sacred. I said, that is my strength. And I said, what Chad. Chad believes in me, gives me so much strength in this situation. And it really was. It really, really was his choice to love me, love him, believe, believe in me. Has changed our family's life and my life in ways that. And he's very humble, but his strength in supporting has been such a gift.[00:09:45 - 00:09:58]
So did you have times, Chad, during that almost five years that you didn't know if you could keep doing it, or were you that strong cowboy that were resolved? And.[00:10:02 - 00:10:15]
I just. We were gonna do it because, like, every day that we danced, it's like, well, we're another day closer. It's been. We worked through the rough stuff, which was not true.[00:10:17 - 00:10:31]
That integrity that you both had to be loyal to each other during that whole time is pretty incredible indeed. And probably very unusual. I'm guessing. I don't know. What's your experience with that portion?[00:10:31 - 00:10:53]
Well, people always say that. They're like, well, your husband wasn't faithful to you. And I was like, my husband was faithful to himself. I know my husband would have never cheated on me because I know that my husband's own integrity to himself comes before it does to me. And I know he didn't, so whatever. Like, it doesn't matter. People don't think that a Man can do that. But I already know that. I know my husband.[00:10:53 - 00:10:54]
Plus we have five kids.[00:10:58 - 00:11:12]
I spoke at a women's conference and she said, your husband's story. Yes, you're right. And she goes, the only reason he stuck around, she left so many kids that he couldn't. But there's part that's partly true.[00:11:13 - 00:11:15]
So did you email every day then?[00:11:16 - 00:11:31]
Yeah, yeah, that was. Turned out to be really positive. Just I pretty much started my day, I'd go to work and compose email. Just tell her how stealing. Tell her, you know, stay connected.[00:11:32 - 00:11:36]
That leaves quite a legacy for your family. Right? You've got those emails still.[00:11:36 - 00:12:16]
I hope we don't. No, we do. Well, and what ended up happening, my book, which has a lot of the communication with me and kids and all of that. And I think it does leave a legacy for our kids. It was painful to go through together, but I'm so proud of them. And I also was blogging, so I would email home my experiences. And it was interesting when I went back down and looked through all my blog that you can really see the growth. Like it was kind of cool. When I wrote my book, I had this content. I didn't know I would do any of that. Like I wasn't doing it. But honestly, when I think, oh, my heart was full, I have to share this experience and stuff.[00:12:16 - 00:12:43]
Yeah. So what do we do? How do we teach ourselves and other people to make all these fundamental changes without dragging yourself through this terrible mud? That's really the question of the day. Right. Is how do we learn to do this on our own without this terrible trauma?[00:12:43 - 00:14:59]
Right. I think principles, like, for one, I know I'm the best version of myself when I'm humble. And I think I've learned that a lot from Chad. But being humble enough to be not right, if that makes sense to say. Okay, let's say that our marriage is struggling. We both had those times, right. And like, like when I, when I called Chad, maybe we should just get divorced. Like it's gone on too long, it's too painful. Chad is. You have drugged through all this. You deserve to drive. Like, he could have been so angry and instead he said, please forgive me for my part. And I was doing all kinds of wrong things. I think he didn't focus on what I was doing, he was focusing on what he had. That took a lot of humility and being objective. Right. Like separating that self awareness that you're talking about, first of all, your life by your decision. But also I look what I want the outcome to be like. Like, I wanted my marriage to work. So if you want your marriage work, then you can actually write down those things that are important. You can live your life by those principles. You will have to challenge your emotions because you get stuck in those illusions of thought and feelings that are so strong and hard. I had them. I felt very victimized by the government. I felt very angry by the government. I actually sat outside under a tre for months and I processed that and then I had conversations. This sounds crazy, but I would sit there, I would have a conversation with my judge, and he wasn't there there, obviously, but it helped me process. I was like. Like, this is how I feel. And I really wish I wouldn't have handled it all this way. I am responsible for my actions. Like, I had to go back and kind of re work through all of that because I had a strong of being the victim and the emotional experience, being sentenced and separated by my family and the years, pain and trauma. For me to work through that, I really have to challenge my thoughts and my feelings. Be very, very deliberate. Deliberate in what I wanted my life to look like in any situation. You want a different outcome, you're going to have to work at it. But it's worth it.[00:14:59 - 00:15:27]
I want to ask, during those times when you didn't want to take the responsibility and you wanted to put it on other people, did that not feel good to you to externalize it? Does it. Did it kind of give you a rush to feel, oh, you fault. It's not my fault. I feel really good sitting here blaming other people. Like that's a real thing.[00:15:27 - 00:15:28]
Yeah, human nature.[00:15:29 - 00:16:15]
Human nature. We did it in groups. Like there's a whole bunch of us sitting in a circle and we're getting each other and we're just laughing and talking. And you feel very. An artificial sense of power. Right. It's just your allies going with that. But I remember walking into the library one day and I looked at one of. One of them and she was smart. She was a political science professor and she was about 68 years old. And I looked and I learned. I saw such weakness. And I thought, no, I can't sit there anymore and do this. I have to get up and I have to go outside and I have to fight. It's very, very uncomfortable. It was much more comfortable to go sit in the library and laugh and talk about how rotten the government was. But I wasn't going anywhere. I was stuck there.[00:16:16 - 00:16:19]
She had learned it though. She was still stuck.[00:16:19 - 00:16:21]
Yeah, there was a whole Bunch of people stuck.[00:16:21 - 00:16:23]
I was still stuck in prison.[00:16:23 - 00:16:31]
Couldn't stay stuck anymore. I had to separate myself and start. Yeah, it's much more comfortable in that.[00:16:32 - 00:16:44]
Well, and I, I want to just take that moment because this is so important. We can be very intelligent people and still totally be clueless, blindsided.[00:16:45 - 00:16:45]
Right.[00:16:45 - 00:16:48]
By our own, our own problems.[00:16:49 - 00:16:49]
Right, Right.[00:16:50 - 00:17:02]
And we can't ask this simple question. Three words that make a marriage thrive. It's not I love you. It is, am I wrong?[00:17:03 - 00:17:45]
Am I wrong? Right. The shift for me that was so helpful was that I started seeing power. I felt very powerless. Right. And I started seeing truth, power. And I started seeing responsibilities. And so I was very driven to have power, power. My life. I felt really, when I got prison, I was already in prison before I got prison. By my thinking, by my, you know, taking responsibility for my life, being a victim. I freed myself. By the end of my prison, I was way freer than I'd ever been in my life. And I will never, never give power away again. But I, I love that we talk.[00:17:45 - 00:17:47]
A lot about power on here and.[00:17:47 - 00:17:48]
I love that so much.[00:17:48 - 00:18:15]
I think most people don't even recognize power that's happening and how we keep giving away our power through comparisons, through letting other people make choices for us, through letting our circumstances dictate what choices we make. In your case, you were in a bad financial situation. You'd gotten yourself in drug addicted circumstances. All of those things took away power from you.[00:18:15 - 00:18:38]
Right. I felt weakness and I was very different. Find strength. Chad would say, I've always been strong. In some ways I have. I think that's kind of a gift for me. For me it was child stubborn and I'm, you know, I'm hardworking and strong, but when I look back at pictures of myself, I see my weakness. I see it and I feel that anymore. And that freedom comes through truth.[00:18:38 - 00:18:44]
So I love that it does. And responsibility. Truth and responsibility.[00:18:44 - 00:18:46]
You said, how did your children.[00:18:47 - 00:18:48]
I was going to ask that, yeah.[00:18:48 - 00:18:51]
How did your children, how did they fare?[00:18:51 - 00:22:16]
Well, it was really hard. I mean, I left when our young, young kids were 7, 12, 14, so. And it was hard for everybody. Hard for Chad. He felt like financially wasn't able to give them what they deserve. We lived in a pretty high end community, so we had a lot of support. We were fortunate. But also kids didn't have friends incarcerated and all of our friends were going on vacations because their parents were financially stable. And literally we were completely broke. Had to start over and rebuild. And so he felt bad about that. I remember they came out to visit it and just said, I just feel like I'm not doing that. You're doing everything. And I remember telling him, I said, you don't see it, but our kids will be strong because of what they're going through. Like, our son had to work two jobs just to get to pay insurance and his own gas money and all that. And I said, that is the least of the problems our kids will have. Trust me on this, they'll be grateful someday. But the hardest part was a teenage daughter. I mean, both my kids, those teenagers having to go, all of them having to go through those years without a mother. And I remember they came to visit me and they were really, really struggling. And I looked at our daughter, daughter, she depressed. And it was heartbreaking because as I seen her when I left, she was a happy kid. And I'm watching her go through her teenage years and I looked at her and I say, I did this to you. I am so sorry you're hurting. Tell me how I hurt you. And she said, mom, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Anymore. She was so hurt, which she had every right to be. And I remember going back to my bunk and I just laid there and I just. Man, I was hurting so much. And I would envision someday everything would be okay. We're going to get there. I just. I actually listen to music. And I imagine my children healthy on the other side of this. And I knew we had to start. They had to hear the truth from me. And I had this opportunity to go to Hawaii with her family in January. And it was so beautiful because I was sitting out there watching our daughter dance and laugh with our grandkids was what I envisioned the whole time I was prison. It was like this full circle moment of beauty for us. I believe that my choice to work on me, which was kind of the only thing I could do in prison, but I chose it. There were a lot of people that didn't has impacted my children in a positive way. I have to believe that because I was absent for so many years. Like they had grief those years. I grieved those years we didn't have happier. But I did the only thing I could do and that was get myself in the best place I could. And because of that, that's and an example and that's the best I could do. So it's taken time. Our kids trust me. I think they're proud of me. I show up in their lives. I do what I Say I'll do. They have a father who loves them, who loves their mother. In fact, I had moment with their son where he was trying to tell me that another man knows it's my sister's husband and he makes a lot of money and does a lot of good. And I said, your father, Your father, by your mother took care of your children. The father the best. I said, don't you, Daniel? You know that. And I feel that our kids have a great legacy because we chose us not give up. I feel that.[00:22:18 - 00:22:18]
So awesome.[00:22:19 - 00:22:23]
Is it. Is it weird here? I. I've never met either one of.[00:22:23 - 00:22:25]
You before and I'm sitting here crying.[00:22:27 - 00:22:42]
But I just feel impressed to say I. I feel. I just feel a lot of love right now for both of you. And because we're touching on very vulnerable points in your life. And I just love both of you.[00:22:43 - 00:22:56]
Vulnerability creates connection, deep connection and love. And I think you being that way with your children is part of what helped bridge that gap. Just being vulnerable and truth.[00:22:56 - 00:23:14]
And for Chad, I don't know if you're just made out of steel or not. Maybe you just came this way, right? Maybe. I know, but I'm thinking I can't. I'm trying to put myself in your place. And it's really hard for me. It's five years.[00:23:15 - 00:23:15]
Wow.[00:23:17 - 00:23:19]
Five kids at home. Is that how many.[00:23:22 - 00:23:23]
Of us day to day?[00:23:24 - 00:23:28]
And maybe it wasn't hard for you. I don't know. But I know there are moments you said that were hard.[00:23:29 - 00:23:30]
He was pretty dirty. There were times.[00:23:32 - 00:23:36]
How did you get through this, Chad? What were some of the strengths that you pulled from to get by?[00:23:39 - 00:23:56]
Faith was an important one. You know, faith in God, faith that things would be better, family together when we were done with it, you know, because I think about, well, let's see if we, you know, early on, we're married, parents.[00:24:00 - 00:24:03]
Our family. So.[00:24:04 - 00:24:07]
I guess that's the, you know.[00:24:07 - 00:24:11]
The kind of riding point that is as simple as that. That's all you need.[00:24:11 - 00:24:11]
Yeah.[00:24:12 - 00:24:19]
Yeah. That's awesome. Well, I love your story. It's. I mean, for both of you. Wow.[00:24:19 - 00:24:43]
I would. I would just ask for each of you to share as we start wrapping up here. What is something that you would tell other couples would raise their marriage iq, Their marriage intelligence. What are some things that you, from your life experience can say this would make a difference if you would do this for me.[00:24:44 - 00:25:32]
Focus on the good. It's there. And I look to my own weaknesses and try to be fairly honest with myself and Chad. When I see them. But I look for Chad's strengths, and you can go either direction, but I look for his strengths. And I think the other thing is you can't imagine how good it can get. Like, it can be so dark and so discouraging and so difficult that there's beauty on the other side of that, if you're willing to stay the course. And when you're in the middle, you don't see the end. You can't imagine that it's going to get as good as it is. But just do the next right thing and focus on your partner's strengths, because if you focus on the weaknesses, they'd continue to appear.[00:25:32 - 00:25:36]
So what about you, Chad? What are your recommendations?[00:25:37 - 00:25:50]
Parting words of wisdom, Advice, wisdom. There was a quote I love is choose your love and love your choice. It becomes a choice. You know, the.[00:25:50 - 00:25:50]
The.[00:25:50 - 00:26:18]
The feeling to choose what you want. And I have the power to. To change me. And I have no power to change anyone around me, whether it's my marriage, whether it's my. Anyone. This is very unlikely that I'm going to be able to. To change them, but I can change the way I feel about them, the way I treat them, the way I, you know, interact. And that is really. I don't know, those would be the things.[00:26:18 - 00:26:34]
But that choice changes everything. That choice of loving me and believing in me, because he chose that, even in my weakness. And then I became the best version of myself. And that's the power that we have, is to see the best in people and they can rise to that.[00:26:35 - 00:26:36]
That's redemption right there.[00:26:37 - 00:26:38]
I love it.[00:26:38 - 00:26:46]
That's beautiful. So would you tell us where people can find you and learn more about your story?[00:26:47 - 00:27:00]
Yeah. So I've been on Facebook for a while and I'd been on Instagram. I don't really know what I'm doing. I just post stories and then about. I. I wrote my first book. I've written two books.[00:27:01 - 00:27:02]
What are the names of the books?[00:27:02 - 00:27:38]
The first book is Living Louder. It's A Compassionate Journey through federal prison. And then my second book is Born to Be Brave, A Compassionate Journey Through Life. And they're both available on Amazon and Audible. And then I started a TikTok account. So if you're crazy and you're on TikTok, as I wasn't until about six months ago, and that kind of exploded. People love hearing prison stories, I guess. And so I'm on YouTube and TikTok pretty much every platform, and I just share these little stories. But if you're interested in hearing more of this story, then you would probably want to listen. Either listen to the book on Audible or get the book.[00:27:38 - 00:27:40]
So that's great.[00:27:41 - 00:27:52]
Oh and I have a website. Portia Louder.com too. There's that. It's P O R T I A. And here's the crazy thing. There's not another Porsche Louder in the world.[00:27:52 - 00:27:54]
My mom so you got it.[00:27:54 - 00:28:01]
I did not like the name Porsche when I was a kid because it was so different. But Porsche Louder, you can find me. You just google me and I will pop up.[00:28:02 - 00:28:03]
L O U D E R right?[00:28:03 - 00:28:11]
L O U D E R yes. So thanks for giving us this chance to share what I consider our greatest success, which is our marriage.[00:28:12 - 00:28:13]
This has been so wise.[00:28:14 - 00:28:15]
So this is great.[00:28:15 - 00:28:22]
Beautiful and so filled with hope and strength when it could have been exactly the opposite.[00:28:22 - 00:28:23]
Yeah.[00:28:24 - 00:28:38]
Well folks, that wraps it up for today. We're so grateful to the Louders for spending this day with us, for being vulnerable and just amazing. We can't thank you enough.[00:28:39 - 00:28:46]
And remember, the intelligent spouse knows that to change from a stinky to a scintillating marriage first requires a change in themselves.[00:28:46 - 00:28:56]
We hope you'll stay connected with us and keep the momentum going from this week. Follow Marriage IQ on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube for more great content on this topic.[00:28:57 - 00:29:06]
Head over to MarriageIQ.com to grab your free ebook on building a scintillating marriage and subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive tips, updates, and resources.[00:29:07 - 00:29:17]
And then we hope you'll invite your family and friends to join the Marriage IQ community. Keep exploring and we'll catch you next time on another exciting episode of Marriage Marriage IQ.
