The Integrity Check

I remember as a young child stealing a piece of candy from the Brach’s candy bin at the grocery store.

It didn’t have a wrapper, so I figured no one else would want it.

But I hid what I did.

A sure tale sign that deep down I knew I was not being honest.

And my mother found out.

I still hear my her words ringing in my ears about what it means to have integrity.

I still feel the hurt in my heart.

That was not who I wanted to be.

However, integrity is not only about whether we lie, cheat, or keep major secrets.

It is the gradual alignment between what we believe, what we choose, and who we are becoming.

Small acts of self-betrayal can slowly move us away from the person we want to be.

Who you are becoming matters to your marriage.

Every time you act in alignment with your values—or abandon them to avoid discomfort—you shape the person your spouse experiences.

If we hide our opinions, disappointments, desires, or struggles, our spouse may feel close to a version of us without truly knowing us.

Integrity allows your spouse to trust that the person they see is the person you truly are.

Weekly Marriage Tip:

Before bed each night this week, ask yourself:

“Where did I act in alignment with the person I want to be today—and where did I abandon myself?”

Choose one small course correction for tomorrow.

The purpose is awareness, not shame.

In this week’s episode, Who Are You When Marriage Gets Hard?, expands this beyond “good behavior” by exploring integrity as knowing who you are and holding onto that identity when life applies pressure to marriage. If it hits home to you or makes you think of someone you love, please share this episode with them.

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