First Date 2.0

Scott and I had a “first date” experience last week that I’ve just got to tell you about!

He knocked on the door. All dressed up, he introduced himself as my date.

He opened my car door, and romantic jazz music was playing as we drove away.

I felt a little giddy!

We had reservations at a lovely restaurant, with patio seating so we could enjoy the beautiful fall weather.

Pretending we had just met, we asked each other the kinds of questions we hadn't asked in decades!

“What would you do with an unexpected gift of $1,000?” I asked.

“I'd spend a few days at a mountain cabin,” he replied.

A man after my own heart!

“What’s something you're passionate about?”

“Marriage,” he said.

“That’s so interesting, since you aren’t even married,” I teased, with a gleam in my eye.

“Oh, but I want to be!” he replied.

He then proceeded to tell me his philosophy of marriage—why he believes it's the most important relationship in our lives.

“What’s something you’ve never done but would love to try?” he asked me.

“Drive a race car!” I revealed, much to his surprise.

I came away from our wonderful evening with two takeaways.

First, I discovered things about Scott that don't typically come up in our normal date-night conversations. Even after all these years together, there was still more to learn about him.

Second, I was reminded that he is still the man for me! If it truly had been a first date, there is no question about me wanting a second date! At his core, his priorities, passions, and values are still the very things that attracted me to him in the first place.

Are you still curious about your spouse?

Remember when you were dating and wanted to know everything about each other? You asked questions, listened to stories, and were genuinely interested in what the other person thought.

Somewhere along the way, many of us stop asking.

We begin to think we already know what our spouse is going to say, how they'll react, what they believe, or even who they are.

But here's something worth considering…

The person you married isn't exactly the same person you're married to today. And neither are you.

We've all been shaped by experiences, challenges, disappointments, and growth. Yet sometimes our understanding of our spouse hasn't kept up with who they're becoming.

And when we assume we already know someone, we may stop making room to discover them.

Weekly Marriage Tip:

Plan a First Date 2.0 of your own!

Pretend you're meeting your spouse for the first time. Ask questions you don't already know the answers to. Be playful, be curious, and see what you discover about the person you've been sharing your life with.

You just might find yourself falling in love all over again!

And speaking of curiosity…

In this week's Marriage IQ episode, psychotherapist Nancy Collier challenged Scott and me to rethink what it really means to listen to our spouse. We discovered that some of our most familiar communication habits may actually be keeping us from knowing each other as well as we think.

It's a conversation that inspired us to approach each other with fresh curiosity. I hope it does the same for you!

Watch or Listen to This Week's Marriage IQ Episode → then share it with your spouse!