Restoring Physical Intimacy

For women, sex is complicated.

There. I said it.

For starters, our biology is so complex, and it’s on the inside, so we are often unaware of how our bodies work.

We also have to acknowledge that every woman’s body is unique. And, therefore, her sexual experience is also unique.

Many women feel shame about their body. Why would we want to expose the parts of us we are uncomfortable with?

And to be honest, relationship dynamics are HUGE players for women’s ability to feel intimately and sexually connected to their spouse.

But one complexity many couples don’t stop to think about are the physical barriers to a positive sexual experience.

Pain.

Menopause symptoms.

And a host of postpartum challenges.

And yet…

Many women don’t talk about their physical sexual challenges with their husbands.

They were taught to grin and bear it.

The results? Associating sex with pain. Emotional distance. Rejection. Resentment. A sexless marriage.

But there is hope!

If you have painful sex, it may not be something you have to live with. If you leak pee when you laugh, sneeze, or work out, it's common—but you may not have to live with that either.

This week on Marriage iQ we are talking with pelvic floor therapist Kristen Damery, about solutions to physical challenges to sex, including how pelvic floor therapists can make a difference.

Action Tip:

This week ask your spouse, “Is there anything physical that's making intimacy harder for you that we haven't talked about?”

Listen without trying to come up with solutions. Just to understand.

Watch or listen to this episode together and discuss possible solutions as a team.

Ask, “How can I support you as we figure this out together?”

**Sometimes women feel more comfortable sharing what they're experiencing with another woman than with their spouse. If you know someone who is struggling with painful sex, bladder leakage, or other physical challenges that are affecting intimacy in their marriage, consider forwarding this episode to them. It could be the encouragement they need to find help and hope.

Listen here on Spotify or watch on YouTube.

If you have missed other Marriage iQ Weekly Tip emails, here is a linkto catch up on them!