Episode 140: "Your Marriage Didn't Start on Your Wedding Day"
Why Your Childhood Still Impacts Your Marriage
Your Marriage Didn't Start on Your Wedding Day
When couples struggle, it's easy to believe the problem started with a recent argument, a stressful season, or years of drifting apart. But what if the roots of many marriage challenges were planted long before either of you ever said, "I do"?
In a conversation on Marriage IQ, relationship expert Larry Bilotta shared a powerful truth: our childhood experiences shape the way we love, communicate, handle conflict, and even see ourselves.
The Hidden Baggage We Bring Into Marriage
Larry's own story is a reminder that no one enters marriage with a blank slate. Growing up with parents who struggled with alcoholism, gambling, and emotional distance, he learned to avoid conflict by shutting down. His wife came from a home filled with anger and harshness, so when disagreements happened, she fought while he withdrew.
Neither of them intentionally chose those patterns. They simply repeated what they had learned growing up.
Many couples do the same.
Some people learned that love meant keeping the peace at all costs. Others learned that conflict meant yelling, criticizing, or walking away. Without realizing it, we often carry these lessons into our adult relationships.
Your Childhood Isn't Your Destiny
One of Larry's most practical ideas is thinking about childhood on a scale.
At one end are homes filled with love, encouragement, security, and healthy examples. At the other are homes marked by neglect, abuse, abandonment, or constant chaos. Most of us fall somewhere in between.
The important question isn't where you started.
The important question is whether you're willing to grow beyond it.
Many people spend years trying to avoid becoming like their parents. But under stress, old habits often resurface because they're deeply rooted in our subconscious. Recognizing those patterns is the first step toward changing them.
Becoming a Learner Instead of a Victim
After years in a painful marriage, Larry made one life-changing decision: he became a student.
He attended seminars, read books, filled countless legal pads with notes, and spent years asking hard questions about himself instead of only focusing on changing his spouse. His pain became fuel for personal growth rather than bitterness.
That's a lesson every marriage can benefit from.
Growth begins when we stop asking, "Why is my spouse like this?" and start asking, "What is this situation teaching me about myself?"
Real Love Is More Than Feelings
Healthy marriages aren't built on romance alone.
Larry describes real love as a combination of everyday attitudes like kindness, humor, goodwill, playfulness, and joy, balanced with intentional choices such as forgiveness and satisfaction.
Those qualities don't appear automatically.
They require daily decisions.
When couples intentionally choose kindness over criticism, laughter over resentment, and forgiveness over scorekeeping, they create an atmosphere where love can grow—even during difficult seasons.
Are You Always Doing...But Never Becoming?
One of the most thought-provoking parts of the conversation centered on the difference between doing and being.
Many of us wake up already thinking about our to-do list:
What needs to get done?
Who needs my attention?
What problem do I have to solve?
While responsibilities matter, it's easy to become so busy doing that we forget who we're becoming.
Healthy marriages need both action and intention.
It's worth pausing occasionally to ask:
Am I becoming more patient?
Am I becoming more compassionate?
Am I becoming someone my spouse feels safe with?
Personal growth rarely happens by accident.
Change Starts With You
Perhaps the most encouraging part of Larry's story is that his marriage didn't change overnight. There wasn't one dramatic breakthrough or a single conversation that fixed everything.
Instead, over many years, he slowly learned to value himself, understand his past, and develop healthier ways of thinking.
As he changed internally, the relationship around him gradually changed too.
It's a reminder that while we can't control another person's choices, we always have influence over our own.
Sometimes the greatest gift you can give your marriage isn't convincing your spouse to change.
It's becoming healthier yourself.
A Better Future Is Possible
No childhood is perfect, and every marriage encounters challenges.
But your past doesn't have to define your future.
The patterns you inherited don't have to become the patterns you pass on.
With intentionality, self-awareness, and a willingness to keep learning, it's possible to rewrite your story. Every small choice toward kindness, forgiveness, and personal growth creates momentum for a stronger relationship.
As Larry's journey demonstrates, healing often begins with one person who decides that the past doesn't get the final word.
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0:00
Meet Larry Baloda: From Loveless Marriage to Expert
Welcome to Marriage IQ, the podcast helping you become an intelligent spouse.
0:06
Speaker 2
I'm Heidi Hastings.
0:07
Speaker 1
And I'm Scott Hastings.
0:10
Speaker 2
We have noticed that while couples may look like everything is happy and everything's going well, especially in long term marriages, you never really know what's going on underneath and what might be part of their history and what their challenges are.
0:27
Speaker 1
After 27 years and a loveless marriage, our guest today hit a wall.
And then he had a breakthrough that changed everything.
As a midlife crisis expert, Larry Baloda has spent over 2 decades helping 10s of thousands of people save their sanity, their marriage, and their sense of self.
0:46
He's living proof that it only takes one person to start healing a marriage and that no situation is ever truly hopeless.
That is very hopeful.
0:56
Speaker 3
Welcome.
0:57
Speaker 1
Larry, welcome on today to Marriage IQ.
Obviously you've had lots of years of pain and anguish, right?
1:07
Speaker 3
So my history perspective is I born to Italian parents, my mother becomes an alcoholic, my father becomes a gambler.
But when you're living with people, you're living with the backdrop of their real life. 2 very soft hearted people who when they have disagreements, they shut everything down and stop talking and they go back to appearing to be happy.
1:29
So the thing about my parents is they didn't really teach me anything.
They just were living their lives.
So what I did, though, is I was looking for strength when I got into my 20s, and I yearn for strength.
And that yearning brought me Marcia.
So Marcia is a woman who grows up in a home that's really governed by meanness.
1:48
She would get mean and she would get angry and yell and hit.
And So what I was doing was shutting down.
And that was the beginning of our marriage.
1:56
How Childhood Experiences Drive Marriage Patterns
Made in hell.
We both had a core message from her parents.
Stay married, stay miserable.
There was no considering leaving because that message was so strong.
I started to really determine can't live like this right?
I got to do something else when I had to do is I had to learn.
2:11
I had to become the learner that's 27 years now was my search for what everything is what it means.
Why this?
And so I'm looking for its spirituality.
I'm looking for psychology.
That's really what drove my whole learning process.
2:25
Speaker 2
Were you reading books or you were just being observant?
2:29
Speaker 3
Books, seminars, I went to marriage seminars by myself.
I did all those things because I was in pain.
So as long as my pain continued, I was motivated.
And that's the thing, I teach you my course today.
As long as your pain is driven and you're going to keep on learning if you don't, and I've seen this happen where people suddenly have a turn around and their spouse becomes suddenly nice, they just stop the whole learning process.
2:54
They literally stop and go back to where they were.
And so that brings us back to the whole idea of what brings you back to where you were.
And that's why I'm teaching about childhood because childhood is what drives marriage in everything you do in it.
And when you look at your childhood, you're looking at experiences.
3:11
And so I develop a scale from 10 to 0, and I've been using that scale for about 15 years.
3:17
Speaker 2
What is that scale?
3:19
Speaker 3
The scale is 10 is where purpose is where you're raised in purpose by mom and dad who love each other and they love you.
So that's a 10 down.
At the end is 00 is where you're abandoned, you're abused, you're neglected, so all three, and that puts you down at zero.
3:35
So the scale of the purpose to chaos has been what I've been interviewing people with for 15 years.
I've done over, I think 3000 interviews and keeping notes out all of that.
And so I see the stories that people are living through and I asked about the father and tell me what kind of relationship do you have with your dad?
3:54
I hear just a wide variety of what kind of fathers are out there. 3000 interviews.
I got a lot of fathers.
But and so as we look at all those fathers, if we go to the top of the scale, let me start with the 10s.
My dad was my rock.
I hear that a lot.
4:11
My dad was the greatest guy in the world.
My dad loved me.
Unbelievably.
I could never do anything without my dad.
So that's the ten stories.
When I come to the zero stories, what do I hear?
My dad was never there.
My dad was a creep.
My dad was rot.
4:27
My dad was mean.
And then I switched to the mother's.
Tell me about your mom and what was she like?
So when we go to mother's at the top of the scale I hear nurturing, tender, kind, sympathetic.
When I go to the bottom of the scale, I hear cold, nasty, witch abandoned me, left me, walked out with another man Fuck I2 stories that just distorted.
4:51
So in this scale has been really helpful for me because if I don't have the scale, I really don't know what the story is.
The story is in the scale.
I've been realizing that whatever happens on that scale is what kind of life you live now.
The difference is the people who want to break the pattern and so they want to do something better than what they had.
5:10
And so when they try to do something better than what they had, I never going to do this.
I'm never going to be like my father, right?
Every once in a while they start to lose their determination and when they lose that determination, where do they go?
They go back to the childhood and they start to do with the father deadness, so that men to treat the wives the way the father treated the mother in the 1st 10 years.
5:31
And for the women, they literally treat the husband like the mother treated the father in the 1st 10 years.
Because the pattern is there in the subconscious.
It's there.
All the psychologists know it, everybody knows it.
They'd seen all the movies, all the stories.
It's all laid out for everybody to know.
5:46
That's why I know it, because I'm looking for it, right?
And because I'm looking for it, I see it everywhere, right?
But the people I'm talking to, they're not looking for it, and so they don't see it everywhere.
So that's why I use the scale of the song, because without the scale I can't really tell the story of their childhood.
6:00
Speaker 2
How does this end up then impacting marriage?
6:03
Intentionality, Joy, and Forgiveness in Relationships
The marriage is not going to be really successful because there's not real love.
And when you have the two sides of real love, the one side of real love is kind of fun, humor, goodwill, playable.
This, those 5 is like a collective energy, the best marriages, kindness, fun, humor, playfulness and goodwill.
6:21
They are there.
They're lubricating the marriage, they're lubricating the relationship.
It's alive, it's keeping, it's staying, it's not disappearing.
It comes and goes, but it's basically there.
And that's really what the best marriage.
6:34
Speaker 1
Is.
But Larry, wait a minute.
If I'm just funny all the time, goofy and fun, good-natured, aren't I going to let go of some of the more serious parts of our relationship?
I mean, I got to take part of it seriously, right?
6:48
Speaker 3
So I'm calling this real love, and real love has another side to it, the other side to kind of spun good, heal, replace with goodwill.
If that's the right side of it, The left side of the circle is joy, satisfaction and forgiveness.
That is the thing that solidifies the rest of the marriage.
7:06
So when you think about joy, satisfaction and forgiveness, joy is something you decide, satisfaction is something you decide, and forgiveness is something you decide, definitely decide.
And So what that does is that takes all the kind of spun good humor, but also goodwill, like, oh, I sound flaky when I'm like that, right?
7:28
But if you take the other side of the real love and you add joy, a decision, satisfaction of decision and forgiveness of decision, how everything starts to slow down and go, oh, now I see it starts to become more whole and more complete.
And now I can deal with serious topics and I can deal with light hearted topics.
7:45
And I'm now a balanced person, right?
As well researched as the most of you are.
You know, that's really emotional intelligence as we all think of it.
7:52
Speaker 1
Yes, I think emotional intelligence requires intentionality on both of those sides, right?
I think that I need to be intentional about having fun and having humor.
8:05
Speaker 2
Life gets pretty serious sometimes.
8:07
Speaker 1
And I think that on both of those sides, that's important.
8:10
Speaker 2
But I love that you say joy is a choice.
It's a decision, not just something that happens to you.
8:18
Speaker 3
Yeah, and we think about something that happens to you.
What is life?
Life is a series of things that are going on with the world outside.
And then you have a line that's going on inside.
And we don't understand our lives inside.
We don't know what it is, we don't know what makes it up, but it's the mind we're talking about the mind.
8:35
Nobody's photographs of mind, nobody's drawn a picture of mind.
Nobody knows what a mind is.
All we've got is words.
And so because we have no image of the mind where we can solidify, what we got is a brain.
So that's what we think a lot about when we think about our inside life, our inside energy, our inside beliefs, our imagination and our thinking.
8:57
That's our inside life.
And boy, we think about.
People don't think about what they're thinking.
They don't think about what they believe.
They don't think about what they imagine.
They're not really doing it.
They're just bouncing around.
And because they're bouncing around the inside, they look at the physical world of the outside and they really, they're bouncing all over there, too.
9:14
Speaker 1
It sounds like you're describing A reactive way of life.
9:19
Speaker 3
Yes, I call it the pinball.
9:21
Speaker 1
Yeah, that reactive way of life.
And we're trying to teach ourselves and others how to become more proactive instead of reactive in our minds, in our lives, in our relationships.
What I hear you saying, correct me if I'm wrong.
9:38
Everything you're talking about requires intentionality.
It requires us to come up with the game plan about how to act instead of just waking up and reacting to the world, you know?
9:53
Speaker 3
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
But I decided to not go against this violence, angry person who was literally born in a ring because she had to to fight to live.
I was not going to go there and try to deal with that.
10:09
I was going to become the learner.
I think I was forced to become a person who thinks about being and because the mind drives everything, I was moving to the being side and I was really a big doer.
10:23
Speaker 2
Yeah, those those work concurrently.
10:25
Speaker 3
I was so extreme in that doing that Marsha took my break with a day planner and she grabbed it and she crossed out all The Saturdays in every single month.
And when she says this is the day that you're going to do family, right?
10:40
I was so much of A doer because I just couldn't stop doing.
I was like out of control.
10:46
Speaker 2
So Larry, you talked about how childhood sets us up for division in marriage for I think what you call in your own marriage of 27 years up to the point where you had a wake up call, a loveless marriage, Would that be considered a midlife crisis?
11:04
The 'Buckers' and Their Midlife Transformation
How did you recognize something was going on that needed to change?
And how do you know when someone is having a midlife crisis?
11:13
Speaker 3
So midlife crisis is thing that's got lots of opinions in the world from it's a time to grow, it's a time to learn, it's time to think about yourself differently.
That's how the authors talk about it.
They can think of it as a very positive event.
Bucker is a person who says I'm not going to do that, I'm going to do a better.
11:31
Speaker 2
Thing.
So you're teaching people who are in that midlife crisis to become a bucker.
11:36
Speaker 3
Well, we'll actually find people who've been bucking before they ever talk.
What they're doing is they're just deciding I'm not going to do this, I've got to do that.
So what buckers do is they to go through a three set process and the person they marry has no awareness of this at all.
11:52
So the three set process is stop, I'm not doing that.
Step 2, I'm going to borrow a value from somebody I care about and three, I'm going to act it out.
Those are the three steps of a bucker in a bucking lifestyle.
There's going to come a day when you can't do it anymore.
12:08
You can't do the three-step process anymore.
You couldn't because you're fighting your mind for crying out loud.
How are you going to fight your mind, right?
So they do it and then they snap.
And when they snap, what happens?
All those values they were fighting come rushing up and they take them over.
12:24
And that's the midlife crisis.
And when you're the bucker and the person marries you, they do not see this coming at all.
And man, are they shocked.
They're appalled, they're shocked, and they're crying and falling apart because they don't want to see this person who was fabulous by the way they were fabulous.
12:41
Scientist, doctor, politician, whatever.
They were fabulous and very successful.
They appeared, but what was underneath it?
Fighting their subconscious mind.
So when they finally literally give in to this pressure, the dam breaks.
And when the dam breaks, everything that they once valued, they don't value anymore.
12:58
If you thought religion was really important, you really the religion is gone.
If you thought it was important to be in outdoors, in nature, you don't care about that anymore.
If you thought animals were your great gift, it's gone.
The changes are really, really big and really fast, and that's why the spouse who's left behind can't handle it.
13:18
And so that's really a lot of the people who get in my course.
13:21
Speaker 1
I know you talked about bucking.
Bucking is you're trying to become someone that we're not naturally like we're going against the grain.
We're going against some of the childhood values that were ingrained in us.
We're trying to move upstream.
13:36
And so when we finally have our break, it's all of those values that we were trying to work on so hard that don't come naturally to us, that go away.
Or is it everything?
Even the stuff that I have loved to do as a kid.
13:52
Speaker 3
So, Scott, what you're asking is do you lose everything?
Yeah.
13:56
Speaker 1
Or just the ones that that you're trying to work on?
13:59
Speaker 3
I'm going to give you an example of a tuba player.
He's a tuba player.
He loved the tuba.
And he literally got so good that he made tubas from scratch.
He literally built the from scratch.
And he was playing in the Symphony Orchestra.
I mean, we're talking about a really great achiever.
14:15
And so to his wife, I was witnessing this collapse, right?
And so one of the stories she told is he's attending this event, and he's supposed to be the homeowner, but they're divorcing, and he's in this midlife crisis.
Somebody says, you know, I never even knew what a tuba is.
14:32
And so you know what he says?
Yeah, me neither.
14:35
Speaker 1
Wow, so it's everything.
14:37
Speaker 3
It's like it's everything.
14:38
Speaker 2
I have seen people in that midlife crisis though, that just pour themselves into something new, something different.
Do you see that as well?
14:47
Speaker 3
That's another version of the same distortion.
If I'm reaching out to things that are really good, commitment, loyalty, coveness or service kindness.
If I'm reaching out trying to become this, my subconscious is telling me not to do that right?
So I'm struggling because I've got this tension, and that's what makes it so hard for the bucker to live like this.
15:09
And so every time I hear about a person's a bucker, I'm talking to the man, I'm talking to the woman, and they tell all these stories about what it was like for that person to be in this place of chasing these better values.
And so when they finally lose it and they snap and they go to the base core unattractive things, they go to doubt or they go to defensiveness, or they go to survival, or they'll latch on to some theme.
15:40
They latch on to that theme and it makes their whole personality kind of unattractive because the attractive parts of their personality was when they were pursuing those higher values.
But now they're not.
Now they've latched on to something and they've made that their theme.
15:56
And now like a guy who is a teacher and he was really good and really inspirational, he doesn't latch on to that inspirational idea anymore.
And now he latches on to selfishness.
And now he's chasing women, or he's chasing a woman, or he's chasing material things.
16:16
Speaker 2
That's where the red convertibles come in.
16:21
Speaker 3
The classic one, right?
So we can't see a guy in the 60s in a really high end car without taking midlife horizons.
And the media did that.
The media made that happen.
16:33
Learning to Love Yourself to Heal Your Marriage
Well, somehow in your life you turn things around, I'm guessing.
So how did you do that?
And how do you help other people do that?
16:40
Speaker 3
I've gone through mid life prices myself and when they go through them, you really don't know because you're not really looking closely at yourself because it's hard to see yourself, right.
So you can't really analyze yourself to say, oh, I made a mid life crisis.
But then I have people who say, yeah, this is a mid life crisis, get over it.
16:56
And they're making the switch, whatever the switch is.
So what I'm doing is I'm teaching myself what I think.
I'm teaching myself what I believe.
I'm thinking what's admirable, what's better, right?
Because even though I had nice parents, I had that core addictive personality of the gambling and alcohol as a sign note, my mother and my father privately would pull me aside.
17:20
And my mother would say, you know, if your father did gamble, we'd have more money.
And then my father would pull me aside.
You know, if your mother didn't drink, we would have more money.
So when they told that, it's like, oh, I guess they're canceling out gambling and drinking.
And literally that's what happened.
17:35
I have no interest in gambling.
I have no interest in drinking.
So once you start realizing the childhood as everything, you can start looking in your child to say, well, what's the best values?
I got?
What did I get?
What did I get from dad?
What did I get from up right?
So in my case, I got from my father the hunger for lurry because my father was a big book guy and he would be, I'd get up in the morning like 8 years old and I'd go in the living room.
18:00
The first thing I would see is my father and the lazy boy with books.
He's reading an underlying highlighting.
That's what I saw every year, year to year throughout my childhood, right?
You just can't have that happen to you and not get all the interested learning.
That's I got that from my father.
18:16
So that's a strength I can count.
I can count A level learning as a part of when I got from him, from my mother, I got a sensitivity and a moodiness that kind of suddenly changes.
And so I realized I got that.
I probably don't want that.
18:34
The best thing I can do about that moodiness is to recognize I had it.
I just recognized it and it's there, and then canceling it out and then going into the better things with my father.
And so you've got things that are admirable and things that you don't admire.
18:49
And what you're trying to do is you're trying to make a life out of what you got.
You got a mother, father combination and you got to decide what you want to make.
Everybody is got all these variety of values from both him and her.
And then I've got the adopted people, right?
What happened to those adopted people?
19:06
It's all wiped out.
It's wiped out, it's cancelled, right?
Adoption agents say no, we can't tell you about your father and your mother.
You can't tell you about your.
But I'm telling you, the adopted people, they are so determined to find their origin family of the maze at the work that they do to find that origin family.
19:25
And it stuns me what they do and how they accomplish it.
19:28
Speaker 2
So you started then to see the good, to look for the good that came from your growing up, and then what did you do with it in order to heal your marriage?
19:37
Speaker 3
So once I'm on a track of looking for what's better, now I'm starting to realize, OK, I don't want to go into the direction that my wife is going because that's power and strength.
I want to go through understanding and learning.
And so what's starting to happen is I realized that raise yourself environment, I didn't love myself.
19:58
I didn't feel good about myself.
And because I didn't feel good about myself, I did a lot of things that people who don't feel good about themselves do.
Now.
I didn't get real destructed.
I never got drugs.
I never got into, you know, stealing or things that society calls it really damaging.
20:17
But I did a lot of things that really hurt myself.
So I thought in terms of things that are like a lazy, I became lazy for a time and I'd struggle with laziness or I became kind of melancholy and kind of gave up ambition.
20:33
I would do that and from time to time, So what was I really doing is I was learning how to love myself.
And when I started to learn to love myself, I was starting to think of what do I value?
What do I like?
And what do how do I feel about what I like about myself?
And so that was hard because it took a lot of writing to start to look at myself that way.
20:51
And you just don't naturally look at yourself like, I'm this, I'm that, I'm this, I'm that, right?
You just don't think that.
So I wrote her down.
And as I started to write it out, I'm living with Marsha.
And what's Marsha doing?
She's always pushing me to improve myself as a wager, as a person with an art talent, as a person that can give value to others.
21:15
She's pushing me kind of in the hard way.
It was just her style.
And so I was starting to think about myself in a better way because I started to value what I was thinking about.
I started to value myself.
And then as I started to do that, and now we're coming towards the 27 years, I started to see that, hey, I'm all right.
21:35
I'm not a terrible person.
I'm not like the worst qualities of my mother.
I'm not one of the worst qualities of my father.
I'm the best qualities, right?
I started to have the best quality.
And so I started to feel that there was no breakthrough moments, those great Aha's.
And you can point to what it was a gradual realization that I really love myself.
21:54
And as I started to re love myself, she started to treat me better.
Not because we decided to have a conversation.
I didn't draw a line to the sand, no boundaries, none of that.
I started to like myself and I started to change the energy when I call the energy trade.
I started to love myself and she started to treat me differently and that's why I came to.
22:14
It takes 1 to ego marriage.
It doesn't take two.
It's takes one person to make a change like this.
I was changing and I knew it because the mirrors told me.
22:23
Speaker 1
One of the main things we teach here in Marriage IQ is in order to have a scintillating marriage that we all desperately want first requires a change in ourselves.
22:36
Speaker 3
Your.
22:36
Speaker 2
Story is so great.
22:37
Speaker 1
And yeah, such a wonderful, beautiful illustration of what we're trying to teach.
Wow.
22:44
Speaker 2
Thank you for that.
Well, we're just about at the end of our time here, Larry, is there's one thing that you could tell couples that would help them if they're going through situation like this in their own marriage, in their own life, in their own mind, that would be most impactful.
23:04
How Every Thought Shapes Your Life and Marriage
So this is a really simple idea.
The idea is think the thoughts and you change the life.
Now when I say change the life, that sounds like a Gray end change.
Here's an example of a thought.
Everything's possible is a thought.
The thought is very simple.
23:20
Everything is made by what you think, and when you think it, it changes.
Now it can be very little, very minor.
I'm making a grand statement.
You change what's happening right now, and it's very small.
23:36
Everything is possible.
When you think everything is possible, you think, oh, that's a throwaway thought.
No, it's not.
It's not a throwaway thought.
It's a thought that's changed something and you don't know it because it's too small for you to notice.
What's another thought?
23:52
The possible becomes possible, right?
That's a thought.
It's a small thought, right?
It makes you start to move in the direction of the thought.
And so if every thought, it starts you moving in the direction of the thought.
Every thought matters.
Every wow, every thought matters.
24:08
I didn't think every thought matters.
I thought every thought was a throwaway thing.
Like it's just a thought.
24:12
Speaker 1
That's profound.
It is.
Every thought matters.
I need to cinch up all my thoughts here.
24:19
Speaker 2
And just be aware of them for starters.
24:21
Speaker 1
Yeah, just be aware.
24:23
Speaker 2
Good thoughts, bad thoughts.
Get rid of the.
24:25
Speaker 1
Bad.
They all matter.
I want them all to be good as possible, right?
24:30
Resources, Marcia's Legacy, and Finding New Love
So Larry, I know you just came out with a new book.
Can you tell them about the book and where they can find more information on you?
24:36
Speaker 3
This is a book from interviewing all those people.
24:38
Speaker 2
Oh nice.
24:40
Speaker 3
So the thousands of interviews I've been doing are coming from the title, This is not the Woman I married.
This is a book for men.
Not a book for women.
It's a book for men, and because it's a book for men, this is not the woman I marry and it's the title, because that's what the men said.
This is not the woman I married.
24:56
This is.
24:56
Speaker 2
Not the woman I married.
OK.
And is that available on Amazon or on your website or where would it be?
25:01
Speaker 3
That's that's on Amazon.
Great subtitle is her midlife crisis and what her Husband could do about it.
25:07
Speaker 2
OK, we will put a link to that in our description for this, so if people want to just click on it, they can follow that.
25:15
Speaker 3
But then the backdrop of giving more of Larry Blood information is you can save this marriage.com and then Larry blog.com on YouTube where you can find Larry blood you.
25:26
Speaker 1
Can save this marriage.com OK?
25:28
Speaker 2
Wonderful, Larry, this has been really great.
You've given us some really interesting perspectives and models and hopefully those who are facing this will pick up your book and.
25:40
Speaker 1
Inspire me to.
25:41
Speaker 2
Learn more, right or check out your YouTube videos.
25:44
Speaker 3
So I have a footnose 2019, the Marshall of those years, Yeah, 40 years.
She died.
25:51
Speaker 2
Oh, I'm sorry.
25:52
Speaker 3
That changed my life because she was my teacher.
I learned everything because of Marsh.
25:58
Speaker 1
Wow and.
25:58
Speaker 3
Without the teacher, I don't think I would become this.
So I went four years with no relationship and then in the fourth year I fell in love with another.
26:08
Speaker 2
Strong woman, congratulations.
26:12
Speaker 3
This woman is a strong woman and she's not a chaos kid.
She's more of a purpose kid.
That's because she had a really great mother, was a great teacher.
So I know these things now, and now it becomes a matter of me living this way with my new wife.
26:25
Speaker 2
You've been transformed.
26:27
Speaker 1
Thank you.
Thank you for the inspiration.
26:29
Thank You and Connect with Marriage IQ
Yeah, we're going to wrap it up here, and we hope that you've learned from us today.
Please send us an e-mail hello@marriageiq.com you have any ideas for future episodes.
We'd love to hear from you.
We read them all and we just love for you to reach out to us.
26:46
Speaker 2
And everybody have a good week, and we'll see you next week on another episode of.
26:50
Speaker 1
Marriage.
26:50
Speaker 2
IQ.
